One of my students came up with the name Project Redwood when we were talking about a new guy I was seeing who happened to live in Northern California. I love it. Makes me feel like 007, talking in code.
I joined eHarmony in May of 2007, mainly because my mom had met her husband on the site and I had never seen her so happy. I went on many, many, MANY first dates. Notice I say first dates.
We kicked off the adventure with "The Masturbator." We only spoke on the phone once, and for obvious reasons, I cut the phone call very short. . . . ok, let's try this again.
Guy number two was sincere and sweet and very, very sweaty. Poor guy sweat right through our meal and continued the disaster by belching up his steak and onions all during the movie. (Let me just say EEEEWWWWWWWW!) We saw the new James Bond movie, which I loved and was very into, except that Mr. Sweat kept touching my back and legs. I had to stay one step ahead of him, because I didn't really want to slap him in the theater. (I mentioned the movie was really good right?) He walked me to my car and came in for a goodnight kiss....at which point, I turned around, got in my car and drove a crazy route home, just in case he was following me.
Guy number three was in the army, but had a very special secret that he and his recently deceased, sainted wife kept.
He liked to wear women's clothes and makeup.
No. I am not kidding. Now, here's the thing...that doesn't scare me or make me freak out because, good for him. To be comfortable enough with yourself and to want to find someone to love you for you is what we are all doing, so to each his own. I don't judge him for his lifestyle, I just don't want to play.
The next contestant decided after our first date, that he was in love with me. He brought me flowers EVERY DAY for a week and when I told him that this was very sweet but a little too much, he started calling me every.......five........minutes. When I finally answered, he blurted out that he was going to die without me and that if he couldn't have me, no one would. Nice. He actually called me one Sunday when I was out shopping with Vickie and told me he couldn't get into my backyard because the sprinklers were on. I tried hard to casually ask him WHY he would need to get into my backyard, and he said that he had mowed my front yard and trimmed my shrubs and just wanted to finish the job. We lovingly refer to him as the "Lawn mowing stalker" and Brad at work has this guys name in case I go missing one day.
The men after that were all a blur...except for one who told me during his glass of chardonnay that he was, in fact, gay. Hm. What was in my profile that was making this happen?
Then, one afternoon in August, I was matched with a man who looked so familiar to me, that I stared for awhile, trying to place where I knew him from. This guy had actually 'closed' me, because we lived too far away from each other. I had been 'closed' by a dozen men before, and my only thought was to move on. What did I care if they closed me before they got to know me? But this man was different. His posts were funny and wry and I couldn't shake that I somehow knew him. I sent him a 'please reconsider' post and the next thing I knew, we were sending guided communications across the net. Usually the process takes awhile, with both people being busy....but this guy and I started emailing back and forth so quickly, it became apparent that we did, indeed actually need to talk. Late that night, after a series of posts during which I would type something then compulsively check to see if he had answered in between other chores and things, I started realizing that I wanted to 'chat' with him all night, but couldn't sit at my computer any longer. That was when we decided to actually talk. He gave me his number, told me to wait until he got his children to bed at 9:30 and to call him then.
I was sooo nervous. I was also a little scared he would turn out to be cuckoo for Coco Puffs, so I wanted to be able to use the call blocker to block my phone number. Turns out, I am an idiot and couldn't make it work, so I called him from my cell, just in case.
He answered, with a soothing voice, gentle manner, sharp, sarcastic wit..........
Oh! The promise I heard in that voice!
................................................... and the adventure began.
